Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Hi people.
It's been a while right since my latest post.
Sorry being too busy this year.
There was lots of stuff have to be done.
Even myself doesn't where to start. :/

Well about my Melacca post its been a while in my drafts.
Just couldn't finish it.
I guess it won't be up already then. :(

How's life?
My life........?
I don't even think I have life and how much wish I don't have life.

Well my life been going really bad.
This month is a disaster to me.

• Homework pile up
• School
• Skin getting WORST
• Doesn't talk to sister for the WHOLE bloody month
• Being lonely
• Internet line cut off. (Now using cousin's com)
• NO CNY celebration or angpau's due to my father's death
• MISS DADDY
• No confidence on myself

The kind of pain I went through everyday no one knows. My skin is just getting worst. Its always painful when I wake up from bed. That kind of pain makes me don't feel like doing anything. Once touches water you will just feel like you went to hell. I care much on my outlooks.
I am trying to avoid as much as people as I could because I just couldn't stand myself being so ugly.

Another thing that makes me drop tears for the WHOLE month is my sister. Well its not that I don't wanna talk to her. Its she been treating very bad this month. Ever since my cousin, Ginny, came over to stay at my house she's been acting like as if I am not exist on Earth. I talked to her nicely she answer me in a bad way. I tried some ways like help her did some of her work and she still acting like a bitch. Every she went, she always brings me along. But now? NO! She now always Ginny here Ginny there. Wtf? Fine I admit I am lil jealous. *wtf* She's now forcing me to move all my stuff to my mum's room because she wanted space for Ginny to put her stuff. GRRR.

I am being very lonely nowadays. I don't know why its just so...The person that talks to me and spend the most time with me is my daddy. Now that he is gone apart of me has gone too. Sister also don't talk to me. Mum..? I don't know about her. She's being going crazy lately. I can say now she gain a new hobby that is called yelling. She just yells at people every single second minute and day. Brother? Well he is been funny and nice lately but I rarely see him though.
He's been currently working hard for his new job and have lots of errands to run.

So now you expect who the hell I can talk to?
My dog? great...She only looking at me head must be thinking what am I talking about.
My books? They don't really answer people. :/

I cried today,yesterday and yesterday's yesterday.
Thinking of just jumping off to sea and bye bye to the World.
Then I can meet my beloved dad up there.
There's no point of life here is not much difference of hell to me.
Why must I live in sorrow,tears and a family that hates the existence of me where else I can just jump off a sea, stab myself with a knife, swallow poison, get hit by a car then I can get out of this life?

I am not joking. I will. Sooner or later.
Daddy wait for me.

Samantha.